Funny Sayings of Confucius (Part V)

Confucius say:

• Grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.
• Thank you to Gary Oaksford for this contribution.
• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
• Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
• War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• ...Confucius say too damn much!

Funny Sayings of Confucius (Part IV)

Confucius say:

• It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
• Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
• Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
• Don't eat the snow where the huskies go!
• Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
• Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
• He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
• Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
• Man who sit on tack get point!
• Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!

Funny Sayings of Confucius (Part III)

Confucius say:

• Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.
• Man standing on toilet is high on pot.
• Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
• Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete's tongue!
• Man who live in glass house should not throw parties!
• Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!
• When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.
• Man with glass house must dress in basement!
• Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don't have film!
• Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
• Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Funny Sayings of Confucius (Part II)

Confucius say:

• He who stands on toilet, is high on pot.
• He who makes love in grass, gets piece on earth.
• Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
• He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
• Elevator smell different to midget.
• Work to become, not to acquire.
• A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
• Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
• Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
• Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
• War does not determine who's right, war determines who's left.
• Those who quote me are fools.

Funny Sayings of Confucius (Part I)

The wise Confucius say:

• Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
• Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted.
• Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
• Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
• Man with one chopstick go hungry.
• He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
• Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
• Hole happy, whole body happy.